Blah

So, I have been feeling very "blah" lately. Not blah as in depressed, just blah as in a whole lot of nothing. This is very strange for me. Usually, I experience things in extremes: I'm in a really good mood, excited about the future, or I'm in a really bad mood, depressed and unhappy. I'm not used to this middle ground, where I'm just kind of here. I'm not lost in dream world imagining the great possibilities of my future, and I'm not down-in-the-dumps wishing that everyone would just leave me alone.

I don't really know what to make of this. On one hand, I think this is what I've always wanted - to just be. On the other hand, I feel weird. I feel weird without my mind whirring with constant worries about everything. I feel weird that things that would have affected me so incredibly much just one month ago are mere blips that leave me saying, "geez, that sucks. oh well" and going back to my daily business. I feel weird and I can't even totally describe why.

I haven't had any med changes in about 9 months, so that can't attribute to it (I don't think?). I have been wanting to learn to how to become less affected by my roommate/supposed best friend, because she was practically causing me to have breakdowns at work on a regular basis due to her manipulative and self-centered behavior (more on this later). But I didn't want to completely lose the ability to feel, just learn to put those issues on the backburner at work so I can get things done, and learn to be more assertive and learn to stand up for myself better.

Is this what "normal" people feel like every day? Because, to be honest, I don't know if I like it. Regardless of whether it was "normal" or not, I think my extreme moods were a part of me. I have always considered myself passionate person. I feel for others, perhaps sometimes a little too strongly than is healthy. But sometimes I think that is what makes me me. Without that, who am I?

Have you ever experienced something like this, where all of a sudden things that used to make you feel an extreme emotion barely ruffle your feathers?

Note: After rereading, I feel like I need to clarify a few things. Whenever I experienced a bad mood, it was because of something (fight with family, fight with a friend, stress at work, etc.), not just that all of a sudden I would be unhappy but for no particular reason. But, I feel like I would become more unhappy about a situation than the average person. In my "blah" mood, it is generally a positive blah, I suppose. It is really hard to describe.